Bolivian notes. The way I illegally danced crossed the border with clowns and then surrendered to bodies. The holy lake of Titicaca. The island of Sun. La Paz.

Viterpedia:Bolivia is famous for its Titicaca lake, $5 prositutes, salar de Yuni. It is also well-known for the first ever scream of freedom of the whole Latin America – “primer grito libertario”. Bolivia is known for being the place of Ernesto’s death. This is the poorest country of the continent. It lost all the wars it was involved in.

I went to the lands of the big friend Hugo Chaves from Puni (Peru). My first stop was the hole Titicaca, the highest mountain lake in the world. I noticed Indians gave “saint” status to everything big or beautiful. Well, Titicaca is both big and beautiful. I took a bus to Casani at the border of Peru and Bolivia. I went to the place I was directed as a checkpoint. Yeah, I didn’t have visa :) I was walking a village street and saw a carnival there. You should know that South American carnivals are completely another story. I was staring at colorful weirdoes while they were approaching me. I joined the carnival and walked with them… We had a good time dancing, showing grimaces and walking through a high arc. I was just doing what the others did. The carnival stopped at the square so I left it to find the border. I noticed a booth with “migracion” label. I decided to say hello ask about my location there.

I entered the boot and told them to start a party asked them about the chef of the lands I was on. The gave me “Evo si” (which means “Yushchenko yes!”). I found it to be strange and was wondering for the place of Peru checkpoint… They checked my passport with some documents and asked me “where’s your visa, amigo?” with a smile. I literally said them: “What the freak are you talking about? My county and Evo are amigos and big enemies of America”. Their boss insisted that I needed a visa and there were no other options. That was the moment of my talent… I said: “Me photographa. Great white father to send me, in your great Bolivian empire big lake through, let your wigwams be full and wives glad. Me to make nice pictures of your mointains and to send much turistas, let the sky to fall your enemies’ heads”.  They said yeah and asked for the stamp showing I left Peru. Me: “emm.. what stamp? I was just walked when I saw a big building with a beautiful flag. I didn’t see any Peruvians”. The senior one squinted and said: “Oh, amigo! We’ll send you to our comrades now”. They gave me one officer who led me to the Peruvians. First they brought me to a police station to check everything in order to understand what I was running away from. Then they convoyed me to the frontier guard who was surprised and stared at my passport. He said it was suspicious (it was worn out) and asked for another document… I told him I didn’t have any other similar document. He talked to my Bolivian dude, I gave them money and we went back to Bolivian checkpoint. Finally they gave me visa. Oh, there were also a couple American guys who were charged $150 each for donation to the fund of the fight against imperialism :)))))

Titicaca. Honestly, I have never seen such a big lake before. It looks like a sea. I spend the night on the island in the middle of the lake. It was OK except for the cold and the altitude. That’s why I didn’t spend much time there and went to La Paz, which is the highest capital in the world.

Titicaca and Isla de la Luna

Floating islands.

I was staring at the streets through the window when the bus got to the city in the evening… The worn out houses reminded me the capital of Cambodia, Phnom Penh… People made bonfires on streets and got warmed near them… I lost all will to leave the bus once I saw that. The sad story was I didn’t have any option. I left the bus and found a cab driver. Police officers approached us to ask whether I was a foreigner while I was negotiating with the driver. Then they took all the personal information of the driver and the destination address and told him they would check whether he brought me there (!) the next day. I was like f… hmm… The driver was a regular guy who just brought me to the place I wanted and advised me to stay inside after 10 pm. Well, I didn’t have any other desire after all the things I saw…

I had $24, 5 agglutinate Euros that were accepted nowhere and 5 Peruvian false Sols when I got to La Paz. I negotiated to live in hostel on credit. That money were enough to survive until I solved the cash problem.

I remembered Bolivian capital by its market. I went there to buy post cards but I was really fu amazed when I saw the merchandise they sold there. Indian old women sold dry toads, embryos of lamas and snakes and other witch stuff. You could buy everything there: elixir of youth, philter, potency improvement stuff and others. The funny thing was that you could buy Chinese training pants on the same counter. Moreover, you could grab a bite next the counter with the embryos… I felt sick after I saw that shit and decided not to come back here again.

I had several things to do in La Paz so I stayed there for couple days. In particular, I decided to use the time to get Brazilian visa. So I came to their embassy and they told me I need a certificate of yellow fever vaccination. I tried to negotiate but that didn’t work. Okay. Then I took a cab to the hospital. I was directed to the department with a long line of Indian people there… That hospital was even creepier than the one I had been in Egypt… I found that the probability of getting yellow fever is lower than getting something in the hospital… So I approached the office dealing with certificates to ask for one for myself. I said I had an allergy so I couldn’t get the vaccination… The senora asked me for the proof of allergy but I didn’t have that. Then she advised me to talk to the main doctor… but I was fast enough to give her $5 and get the certificate.

You had better seen the eyes of the guy who checked my documents at the embassy. He was surprised to see my certificate but he was even more amazed when he realized I had got it one week before I talked to him :))))))) I simply asked the hospital senora to give me a fake dated certificate since the visa is given only 10 days after the vaccination…

I bet European people wouldn’t be that smart :)))) It’s so awesome to be born in USSR :)))))